Soul Mates?

I always found it funny when I heard the phrase ‘soul mates’, I mean what is that? (If you have the answer, please feel free to comment! Again-this is my opinion, not wrong or right, just mine)

There is no human way possible that one person in the world can provide everything for you to make you feel ‘complete’ (if that’s even possible, which is another discussion all together) It’s like the term ‘best friend’ or ‘bff’ as they now term it on the world wide web. So if you call someone your best friend that means that all your other friends are 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th and 50^th best, I’m not sure why we try to use this hierarchy to rank those closest to us, it seems a little dumb to me.

Just think about it, for those of you who may be married or in a committed relationship, how many times do you feel like your partner just doesn’t get it, or isn’t what you need at a certain moment in time? It’s not that you don’t love them, or have a perfectly functioning and loving relationship, it’s just that they can’t be your husband/wife, only friend, mother, father, brother, sister and daughter! It’s humanely IMPOSSIBLE. And because they can’t be all these people, they have no way of providing all the facets that make up you as a person.

What I mean is… I feel that our environment (tv shows, reality shows showing the ‘happily ever after’) are drilling it into our heads that we will one day find our ‘everything’, when in reality, NO ONE can be your everything.

I find so much joy from so many different types of people, and people at different stages in their lives. For a while there, I was going along the road of ‘one true soul mate’, when in fact, those types of relationships bring out the worst in me. For example, the other day I went to the movies with two 13 year old girls, it was one of the most satisfying and fun Friday nights I’ve had in a long time! For those few hours, I felt like they were my ‘soul mates’, they shared stories about their school and the ‘drama’ from their lives, while I just listened, laughed and shared the little wisdom I had from my teenager days. It was amazing because I forgot what it was like to be that age, and it was a reminder of how I had grown so much since that time. Without that movie night, I would never have been able to get to that place, to pat myself on the back for accomplishing the things I have since I was 13. I’d like to think that I shared a bit of joy with them as well, a bit of support they may not get everywhere else. You get my drift? All I’m saying is that I’m realizing that I’m the type of person that feeds off others peoples joys & triumphs. And to me-that’s what makes up your SOUL. So…it is going to be my first assignment, to spend the next month involving myself with people & things that I normally wouldn’t, just to see what happens J I have a feeling that its gonna be good-or maybe even GREAT!

Live YOUR Best Life

I have a little extra time to work on ‘me’ right now… I’m not going to post about why I have this extra time, because that’s irrelevant. I think it’s funny when people tell you that you need to “know” yourself before you can ever have a successful relationship with a significant other. I mean, maybe it’s just me-but as long as I’ve known Alana Kathryn Dillette, she is always changing! Yes, I have things about me that remain challenging for me as a person, or things about my personality that stay the same, but I’m forever changing my perception on things, my outlook on life, my fashion sense LOL- I mean, if you think you’re going to one day just wake up and say “Today is the day, I finally KNOW who I am!”, I, personally (and don’t take my opinion too seriously), but I think that’s crazy! I love the fact that life is a continuous journey, forever changing and throwing rocks down your smoothly paved road. Yes, it makes things a little more difficult than planned sometimes, but so much more of a story in the end!

I’ve come to realize that life isn’t just going to one day-all of a sudden, ‘make sense’, in fact, it may never make sense.

This realization has been quite shocking to me, because when I was 13, I would have sworn that 25 was going to be my age of clarity, that I would be married & ‘living happily ever after’ (whatever that means), imagine that! I know you are all thinking of when you were 13 now, and how you used to play M.A.S.H with your friends during class at school to decide what your life would be like (what was it? Mansion, apartment, shack or house LMAO). Or your first ‘love’, and how much it broke your heart when it ended, and then ended again, and again-for however many times it took for you to realize the guy (or girl-let’s not be gender biased here) was an idiot. So now that I finally know this, I’m on a life long mission to embrace these changes and on a continual quest to find a way, everyday to ‘live my best life’ as Oprah (or her writers) would say.

I’m not exactly sure how this is going to work quite yet. I don’t really think there is a method to the madness. But I do plan to share with you some of the things I use to channel my thoughts & energy, whether they’ve failed or not, with the hope that you may also share yours, or just get a laugh from reading. 

Just a little trip down memory lane... 

Quote for the week... well, weeks. This is going to be a tough one

"Nothing is ever good or bad-it's just the way you think about it" 

Back to the grind...

It's been about a month since I left the ship and jumped back into reality. Life has been...well, let's just say it hasn't been a vacation. I got right back into the swing of things upon my arrival with the 2012 Hospitality  Graduate Conference that was in Auburn this year. I presented on a study I did last summer in some Bahamian family islands-not exactly sure how I did that, but I pulled it off and quite well if I do say so myself...

I didn't think I would continue blogging after my internship, but I actually really miss it. In a way it was therapy, whether or not people read it, I never really knew, but writing with the mindset that there was someone out there reading and nodding to your words was enough for me to keep going. On top of that it provides a great release from the hussle & bussle of life and that's more than enough reason to keep going!

The weeks after I got back, it was strange...being on land again, driving my car, having a cell phone. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it all. Being on the ship allowed me to feel so liberated and learn things about myself that I don't think I would have in any other setting. I would sometimes sit on my couch, or the floor, or wherever and just listen to the silence...I felt like I had grown so much, yet the things and all the people around me were the same. This made it extremely difficult to get back into things with enthusiasm. I tried to think back to my time on the ship and what it was that 'changed' me, or how was it that I felt I had grown so much. Because honestly, feeling like you've grown is one thing... but knowing the things that you've conquered is another. So I pondered and over time I realized that the biggest difference between the Alana from the ship and the Alana before the ship was the attitude that I chose to have.

I remember days when I would roll out of bed into pitch darkness after only a few hours of sleep to go to my first of 3 shifts of work, and somehow...I just chose to be happy, I chose to joke around, to smile, to have fun. Working breakfast at 6:30 a.m. may not have been the most exciting thing...but it was, that day, that morning it was. And let me tell you, it made the world of difference to how much I learned, the friendships I made and the experiences I had for the rest of that day.

Not only did I develop a "choose to be happier" attitude, but I also feel like I was way more open to change...to things being thrown at me and taking them head on. It pretty much happened to me every day I was there. Once you work on a ship, you realize that anything goes and your "job description" doesn't really mean anything.

So after all these realizations and (I must admit) a bit of feeling sorry for myself, I've decided, that I'm going to take control of my life, my attitude and the way I handle situations. "Nothing is ever good or bad, it's just the way you think of it" And if you're reading this blog-I give you permission to hold me accountable to this ;)

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered."

Nelson Mandela 'A Long Walk to Freedom'